An Open Letter to My Daughter’s Birth Mother

Hello.

I think of you from time to time, but especially on Mother’s Day. Our daughter is amazing. I am sometimes overwhelmed with gratitude for the opportunity to be her mom, without having endured carrying her in my body. You did that. Thank you for making that choice. Whatever else you may or may not do in your life, you have made the world a better place by blessing it with our girl who is full of light and love.

When I am struck by her beauty, I wonder what you look like. Her eyes are as dark as night and her ebony mermaid hair is gorgeous – although it generally looks like a wild mane in the morning. 🙂 I continue to learn how to deal with curly hair as it is the complete opposite of mine. You probably know how and, in time, she will too. She has a tender heart and fierce fighting spirit when she wants to achieve something. Maybe people say the same about you and I guarantee I will feed both.

Having lived in Thailand, experienced the people and culture, and gone to the place she last saw you, I feel like I understand at least the generalities of why you made the next choice, or maybe you felt you had no other choice. Either way, your love for her was evident in the care you took in ensuring she would be safe and that her entry into this world would be known. Thank you for valuing her life and for the gift of documenting her actual birth date, a luxury not afforded to many orphans and adopted children.

Perhaps there were complications. Perhaps the struggle was too great. I know not the nature of the relationship you had with her birth father; human relationships can be so complicated. But, it was you who loved her enough to give her life. Please know that I love her enough to give her a life, together with the rest of her family and friends. She exhibits many traits that amaze us in their likeness to me. She really is the combination of us both. Nature and nurture, equally important in shaping her identity.

You and I are inextricably linked as mothers to one daughter, and she to both of us. She needs only to look down at her belly button to be reminded of her connection to you and look into my eyes to feel her connection to me. You will forever be in my heart and mind and I will always speak tenderly about you to our daughter, on Mother’s Day, and any time she asks. Without you, there’s no her, there’s no us. Thank you.

Love always,

Holly